Ever since I was a child I felt lonely.
I feel like that since this day.
It's not that I don't have any friends or something.
Far from that.
It Always felt I was something or someone that shouldn't have been born on earth or in this universe...
I feel like I missing someone, someone that feels familiar.
My first memory was from when I was 4 years old.
When I was supposed to go to bed at 7 PM, I stare out the mirror.
Hoping when that "someone" Came flying by, wondering when she came back?
I did this every single night when I was young until my parents were going to sleep.
I never knew who that person was supposed to be?
I don't wanna get too much out of reality, but it feels like I've met that person before, I just can't remember....
I want to believe what my parents say that it is all because of my Autism....
But it doesn't feel like its only that.....There's more to it.....
Not only is this track about this issue, but also about the fact that I've always been sad since I can remember....
And because of my Autism and ADHD, I needed help, but everywhere my parents and I tried and asked for help I couldn't get the right help.
I was always misunderstood, Always seen as a "normal" kid, always seen as someone that could work and study, but people can't see my inside. I barely can do groceries.
Never I'm satisfied or proud when I've done something I had a hard time with.
Instead, I always felt like "I shouldn't have started this task in the first place.".
I feel like that to this place.
I'm not gonna end it though...
I know from my previous throwback, that that is not an option....
However, I don't know what I should do with my life, cause I cannot work, Study or even do groceries...
Girls don't seem to like me either, so I don't have much to look out for in life.....I'm living......But also not....I'm sitting still in life...Like a drawing on a paper.
Only with the magic of imagination I'm able to make that drawing appear alive and satisfying to look at.
But without my imagination, I'm nothing and I cannot do anything.
So this is basically a song about this issue....
lyrics
Why do I feel so Lifeless inside?
Why can't I Just fit in?
Why do I feel so Dead inside?
Why can't I just enjoy?
This earth feels lonely, My heart dark.
Why can't I just leave my Mark?
Why can't I just Live my day?
I feel a Creature from far away.
Alienated, I feel Alienated.
wrong destination, Marooned on a strange location
So I'm Sad.
Why do I feel so lonely inside?
Why do I feel so lost in this place?
Why Do I feel so much sorrow in my life?
Why Can't I just remove from this place?
This earth is dark, I can't fit in.
Why do I feel so forsaken?
Why can't I just Dream away?
Just sleep forever every day.
I'm so sad.
Nowhere to go, no way out.
Killing myself won't make me proud.
Marooned in a world where sadness blows-
everything apart cause no one knows
credits
released August 13, 2018
Produced and Composed by ZwamTek
Composed and Written by Thijs van Oeveren
ZwamTek | Music Enthousiast | Owner of ZwamTek | Creator Of Alter-Ego; Daichi Maru | Dreamer that loves being drowsy by repeating movements or actions.
LA-via-Bombay artist Sun Kin creates cosmic ambient soundscapes inspired by the majesty of the beaked whale on this latest EP. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 12, 2022
Alex Siegel makes light, gorgeous indie pop with cloudlike melodies & radiant instrumentation, presented in both studio & live versions. Bandcamp New & Notable Dec 6, 2021
